For some reason, I never thought of how heteronormative traditional speed dating is: It’s all straight men going from table to table to meet straight women.

In our cases that’s fine, but I did start to think about how inclusive and welcoming an environment it could be. That was one of the first things we realized during the pre-event process: These events cast a wide net – even our age range was between 24 and 38 – and there is no telling what kind of group you’ll wind up at your event.

anyone try speed dating-3

My last official relationship ended a few weeks before Thanksgiving in 2013 (I just pulled up some old emails to confirm the date, and I’m definitely saving them for my memoir) and I’ve dated here and there in the years since without falling in love or meeting anyone who left a significant impact on my life.

There was the conservative preacher’s son I caught in a lie; the sensitive budding filmmaker who was kind and sweet, but ultimately not long-term relationship material; the social activist f---boy — the list goes on. I completely relate to the gray area Adam mentioned.

My straight, white, cis, male social profile is the most common there is, so I found many potential matches at the event, but those looking for a “less common” social profile might find some of these events frustrating in their scope of potential partners.

The night of Adam: Without being sure what to expect, I was definitely nervous prior to the event.

Like Jamila Woods sang, “I’m not lonely, I’m alone.

And I’m holy by my own.”Pre-event Sadé: I’ve always wanted to try speed dating, which seemed perfect for a Valentine’s Day story.

We found My Cheeky Date on Eventbrite, and I was intrigued by the description.

It’s billed as a “low key, sophisticated approach to dating in Chicago.” The booking process was super easy — we bought our tickets, received a confirmation email and waited.

The men sat down next to us and we'd chat for four minutes each, and then the guys would get up and move one seat down.

Bear in mind, if you have any people skills whatsoever, four minutes goes by really fast, so theoretically, there's not enough time for it to get awkward if you don't hit it off. It was fun, there were appetizers, and the hostesses were lovely (and all foreign model/actress types).

Instead of actual results with other human beings, I’ve spent more time instead considering how my photos look, what my bio says (and doesn’t say) and should I display my top Spotify artists? The process can be draining, especially with your phone at your fingertips.